Did you know that most of the London boroughs have their own mottos? Ealing's, for example, is 'Progress with unity', while Islington is proud to say 'We serve'.
In fact all the official mottos are savagely boring and uninspiring. 'United to serve' (Southwark) or 'Forward' (Hillingdon) are so bland that we went to check our Twitter feed three times while typing this sentence.
To make matters worse, many of the mottos are in Latin. The Borough of Camden apparently sees no irony that its promise of 'Not for oneself but for all' is presented in the widely spoken Roman tongue as 'Non Sibi sed Toti'.
So, we need to change things. The London boroughs deserve up-to-date mottos that better reflect their individual character. Here are our suggestions. You might have your own in the comments section below.
Barking and Dagenham
Actual motto: By the grace of God, let us be judged by our acts
Our motto: BAD for short
Barnet
Actual motto: Unity makes service
Our motto: You've seen the hairstyle now visit the borough
Bexley
Actual motto: Boldly and Rightly
Our motto: I'm too Bexley for my shirt, so Bexley it hurts
Brent
Actual motto: Forwards Together
Our motto: Four-fifths rent
Bromley
Actual motto: To serve the people
Our motto: We like to pretend we're still in Kent
Camden
Actual motto: Not for oneself, but for all
Our motto: We love the smell of hashish in the morning
City of London
Actual motto: Lord direct us
Our motto: Squarest by a mile
Croydon
Actual motto: Let us strive after perfection
Our motto: One day we'll get city status, and then you'll take us seriously
Ealing
Actual motto: Progress With Unity
Our motto: One big comedy
Enfield
Actual motto: By Industry Ever Stronger
Our motto: Welcome to Chas and Dave country
Greenwich
Actual motto: We Govern by Serving
Our motto: That's Royal Borough of Greenwich to you
Hackney
Actual motto: Justice is our tower
Our motto: Gentrification is our middle name
Hammersmith and Fulham
Actual motto: Let us be regarded according to our conduct
Our motto: Home of Charing Cross Hospital, for some reason
Haringey
Actual motto: Progress With Humanity
Our motto: Not to be confused with Harringay
Harrow
Actual motto: The health of the people is the supreme law
Our motto: "...is it us you're looking for?"
Havering
Actual motto: Liberty
Our motto: Face it, you have no idea where we are
Hillingdon
Actual motto: Forward
Our motto: There's more to us than Heathrow. For a little while longer
Hounslow
Actual motto: Let us progress together
Our motto: If you can pass through our borough without making a joke about Feltham, then you are strong, my friend
Islington
Actual motto: We serve
Our motto: I'm sorry, but we're fed up with being stereotyped as the land of sandal-wearing, Guardian-reading, middle-class, Prosecco-swigging liberal media types. There are other sides to our borough that you elitist snobs don't care to see. Furthermore, we aren't all card-carrying Corbynites with a... oo, look, a new gluten free bakery just opened on Upper Street
Kensington and Chelsea
Actual motto: What a good thing it is to dwell together in unity
Our motto: You can't afford us!
Now Lewisham has a new motto AND theme tune.
Kingston upon Thames
Actual motto: doesn't have one
Our motto: Bacchus Viper Hippodrome Pryzm: that's not a Latin motto, but a list of our nightclubs
Lambeth
Actual motto: Let us be regarded according to our conduct
Our motto: 78.62% of us voted Remain and our borough's shaped like Elvis. This is why we rock
Lewisham
Actual motto: The health of the people is the supreme law
Our motto: Home of Lewisham McDeez
Merton
Actual motto: Stand Fast In Honour And Strength
Our motto: We're not REM backwards
Newham
Actual motto: Progress with the People
Our motto: You couldn't afford Hackney, could you?
Redbridge
Actual motto: In Unity Progress
Our motto: Birthplace of Noel Edmonds and Richard Littlejohn
Richmond upon Thames
Actual motto: doesn't have one
Our motto: Home of Fenton!
Southwark
Actual motto: United to serve
Our motto: To north Londoners, we're the acceptable face of south London
Sutton
Actual motto: Through difficulties serve God in faith
Our motto: What brings you here, then?"
Tower Hamlets
Actual motto: From Great Things to Greater
Our motto: Free of corrupt mayors since 2015
Waltham Forest
Actual motto: Fellowship Is Life
Our motto: Seriously, have you seen our Town Hall? It totally shits on your Town Hall
Wandsworth
Actual motto: We serve
Our motto: Beware of the Borribles
Westminster
Actual motto: Guard the city, O Lord
Our motto: Proud sponsors of HP Sauce