10 More Truly Crap Christmas Cracker Jokes About London

M@
By M@
10 More Truly Crap Christmas Cracker Jokes About London

If you thought we'd scraped the barrel with 2016's woeful cracker jokes, or our wince-inducing tube puns from the year before, prepare yourself for a further onslaught of 'humour'.

What's London's smallest skyscraper?
Canary Dwarf

What's London's weakest skyscraper?
Wan Canada Square

Which tube line is the most overcrowded?
The Jubilee, because you're sure to get to Stanmore

Why don't you get many theatres in west London?
Because there's not much to Acton

What's a Maryle-bonbon?
A Baker's treat

Pilot: Come in Heathrow control tower. We're going to have to delay our descent. There's a light fog just north of the airport.
Control Tower: Don't worry. That's just Hayes

Name the London train station...

Londoner: Fancy a trip to the botanical gardens?
Visitor: Kew?
Londoner: No need — I have membership

Where do you go if you want a statue of a 1966 World Cup Winner?
Chislehurst

What are the most northern stops on the Northern line?
Aye Barnet, Tuffnel Parkin, Ilkley Moorgate, Clap'em Yonder and Colliers Wood (closed)
More here

What's the most festive station on the London Overground?
Turkey Street (perhaps served with Brockley)


Punning photo answer: the London station is Slade Green.

Last Updated 01 November 2023