Things To Do Today In London: Monday 16 April 2018

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An evening of wine at Bedales.

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FATHOMING FLOW: Somerset House Studios artist Eloise Hawser invites you to plumb the depths of the city, the sewer, the river, and the body in her exhibition, By the deep, by the mark. Follow a 3D mind-map of sculptures, audiovisual displays, medical hardware and archival materials that charts attempts to reclaim the River Thames as a space for leisure. Somerset House, free, just turn up, until 22 April

PAY-WHAT-YOU-WANT PIZZA: If you've ever fancied yourself as a food critic, now's your time to shine. Made in Italy invites you to give some brutally honest feedback on its pizzas — as an incentive they'll let you choose from three price options based on how much you think the pies are worth. Simply fill in a feedback form to redeem. Made in Italy (Chelsea), from £5, just turn up, until 19 April

ALDGATE GARDENING CLUB: Get green-fingered at Aldgate Gardening Club. This time around they'll be making naturally stress-busting wheat pillows and bath salts for you to wash away the Monday blues . St Botolph's without Aldgate, free, book ahead, 12.30pm-2pm

WINE TASTING: Try twelve wines for only a tenner at Bedales wine shop. With winter well and truly a distant memory, they're saying salut to spring with the launch of their new seasonal wine list. Bedales (Old Spitalfields Market), £10, book ahead, 4pm-8pm

BEING HUMAN: Two great theologians consider what it really means to be a human being in the splendour of St Paul's Cathedral. What role do bodies, communities, faith and memories play in creating identities, and can we learn to see ourselves differently? St Paul's Cathedral, free, book ahead, 6.30pm

Dipper Malkin offer a folksy way to cap off your Monday.

ADVENTURERS WANTED: Epic storytelling, tabletop gaming, and improvisation collide at this one-off adventure from the Vagina Museum. With the narrative shaped by each role of the die, a riotous and unpredictable show is guaranteed. The Book Club (Shoreditch), £6/£8, book ahead, 7pm

FEMINIST THEATRE: Four kickass women who've escaped Trump's America perform a double bill of plays about justice, murder and the insatiable male ego. Catch Nowhere Man and Lady Killers back to back, or pop in for a single show if you're short on time. Etcetera Theatre (Camden), from £5, 7pm/9pm

THE SIGNS WE MISS: Socially conscious conversation starters Subjectivity are coming to The Old Queen's Head for a discussion on spotting the signs of domestic violence and how we can respond to them. The Old Queen's Head (Islington), £12.50, book ahead, 8pm-10pm

DIPPER MALKIN: Brand new folk duo Dipper Malkin are earning a reputation for elevating traditional music to potent new heights. Tonight they'll be striking a chord at The Green Note, one of north London's best loved music venues. Green Note (Camden), £10, book ahead, 8pm

Good cause of the day

Splash out on a six course charity dinner at Perilla in Newington Green. Each course at Dinner for Hamish comes with its own wine pairing and all the proceeds will go to St Christopher's Hospice, which cared for the head chef's close friend during his battle with leukaemia.

Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...

Lost London Walking Tour

London is a city of incredible transformation. With structural remains that date back to ancient history still in existence, this unique walking tour takes in Lost London in all its former glory. From the Titanic booking office to the graveyards of man's best friend, you'll discover the weird and wonderful places that used to exist in the capital but are now only committed to memory. Using old photographs, newspaper cuttings and stories from the past, you'll be amazed at what has largely been written out of our history books...   Get tickets

The London Cheese Crawl

Whether you’re a pre-grated cheddar sprinkler or mimolette fan, this cheesy walking tour will delight your senses. Starting off at a cheese counter in Mayfair that has been serving for more than 300 years, you'll tour the city's best dairy delights - including Fortnum & Mason, where the royals get their fix.   Get tickets

The British Museum Tour - Ideas That Made Our World

Track the journey of humanity through this tour around the British Museum. The tour aims to help you understand why the world is the way it is, and show how humans learned to question absolutely everything. Get tickets

Step on Board the Haunted Tube Express

The Underworld collides with the Underground in more ways that one -- from the angel that saved a tube worker from death to the ghosts of King's Cross, discover the ghoulish history of the Undergound on a tour around the city. £10 Get tickets