Things To Do This Weekend In London: 17-18 March 2018

All weekend

Take part in a Suffragette City Immersive experience at London Pavilion - find out more here.

BOTTOMLESS BRUNCH: Ease yourself into the weekend with a bagel brunch accompanied by bottomless bubbly or bloody Mary's — depending if you're just getting started or already on hair of the dog. Drink Shop & Do (King's Cross), £26, book ahead, 10.30am-6pm, 17-18 March

LEARN TO PLAY DAY: Pick up a new hobby this weekend at the Yamaha flagship Wardour Street music store, which is offering customers a free taster session on some its instruments. Have a go on the guitars, pianos, keyboards, violins, trumpets and drums. Yamaha Music London (Soho), free, just turn up (get there early to book your slot), 17-18 March

HACKNEY FLEA MARKET: Bring a good set of muscles with you if you plan on taking home any second-hand furniture from this flea market, a regular mecca for bargain hunters and vintage fiends. Abney Hall (Stoke Newington), free entry, just turn up, 17-18 March

BUGGY BABY: Refugees, drug addiction, mental health issues and poverty. Despite its colourful lighting and two fifths of the cast playing bunny rabbits (seriously), Josh Azouz's Buggy Baby was never going to be an easy watch, but we gave it four stars. Go see it. The Yard (Hackney Wick), £5-£17, book ahead, until 31 March

IWD EXHIBITIONS: To mark last week's International Women's Day (IWD) we rounded up the best female-powered exhibitions to see so you can get your culture fix and take down the patriarchy in one go. Most are free and run throughout March. Various venues, free, just turn up, various times

Saturday 17 March

There's a traffic-free market at North End Road.

NORTH END ROAD SPRING MARKET: In place of traffic, North End Road will be buzzing with more than 150 food and gift stalls, street entertainment and seasonal fruit and veg. Plus, the market has roped in Bridie from Galway (a stilt walking tea lady) and classical quartet ZHL to play Irish tunes in celebration of St Paddy's Day. North End Road Market (Fulham), free, just turn up, 9am-5pm

TRIM AND TONIC: The Dingle Distillery has partnered with The Bloomsbury Club Bar to host a St Patrick's Day Trim & Tonic grooming pop up. Gents can opt for a hot towel shave served with a Dingle Original Gin & Tonic. Go on, it's what St Paddy would have wanted. The Bloomsbury Club Bar, Bloomsbury, £25 (or complimentary "for those who can prove they were born with the luck of the Irish"), 10am-4pm

FERMENTATION CLASS: Fermented food is all the rage. Find out why at this fermentation cookery class, where you'll learn to make sauerkraut, kimchi and kombucha, plus hear about the gut health benefits. Fifty Seven (East Dulwich), £65, book ahead, 10am-1pm and 3pm-6pm

SPRING OPEN STUDIOS: Curious about the art scene outside of the UK? Put your questions to artists from Argentina, Switzerland, Portugal and the Philippines today. Gasworks (Vauxhall), free, just turn up, noon-6pm

ST PATRICK'S DAY CEILI: Make your St Paddy's Day one to remember by stepping aboard the Cutty Sark for tales of St Patrick and Irish Folklore, traditional dancing and plenty of Irish food and a glugging of whiskey and Guinness. Cutty Sark, (Greenwich), £30, book ahead, 7pm

WORLD WIDE COMEDY SHORT FILM FEST: Proving that comedy recognises no borders, this short film festival features the best funny filmmakers from across the globe. Hackney Picturehouse, £5, book ahead, 7pm

THIS IS NOT BLACK AND CLAY: Treat yourself to this dynamic dance double bill. This is not Black sees Alesandra Seutin rock the stage with Europe and African-inspired moves combined with spoken word and theatre. In Clay dancer Asha Thomas and British flamenco bailaora Yinka Esi Graves draw from their roots spanning Jamaica, Ghana, and the American Deep South. Bernie Grants Arts Centre, £15/£12, book ahead, 7.30pm

POP UP PAINTING: If the last time you picked up a paintbrush was with the scrutinising eyes of your art teacher looking over your shoulder, don't worry, this painting class isn't like that. There's booze involved for a start, although like all art projects, the canvas will probably end up in the back of your cupboard. Le Meridien (Piccadilly), £30, book ahead, 7.30pm-10pm

RUCKUS ST PATRICK'S DAY PARTY: There ain't no party like an Irish mobster party. Dust off your braces and join this gangster knees-up for song, dance and more whiskey than you can shake a Peaky Blinders cap at. VAULT Festival (Waterloo), £17, book ahead, 10.30pm-3am

Looking for more St Patrick's Day shenanigans? Read our guide to St Paddy's Day in London

Sunday 18 March

© Charlie Kwai - who leads a street photography workshop

STREET PHOTOGRAPHY: Stop messing around with blurry smartphone pics and learn how to snap the street like a pro in this practical photography workshop led by Charlie Kwai. Cafe 1001 (Brick Lane), £28, book ahead, 9am-1pm

EXPLORE THE URBAN FOREST: Can't tell your Gingkoes from your Golden Rain trees? Paul Wood is your man. He'll be leading this walk of Chiswick's rare species of street trees. Turnham Green tube station, £18/£22, book ahead, 10.30am-12.30pm

CLASSICAL COFFEE MORNING: For this morning concert, violinist Amber Emson and cellist Willard Carter join forces with pianist Lasha Utalishvili to perform Rebecca Clarke’s Piano Trio. Grab a croissant and enjoy. Royal Albert Hall (South Kensington), £13, book ahead, 11am

GHOST SIGNS OF ISLINGTON: Spend a full 90 minutes casting your eyes away from your phone towards Islington's surviving hand-painted signs. Jane will fill you in on the history, people, and products behind the signs. Upper Street (Islington), £9-£12, book ahead, 11am-12.30pm

TURNING EARTH MAKER'S MARKET: Get your hands on lovingly crafted ceramics from 60 contemporary artists, who are taking over the Barbican Conservatory today. Barbican Conservatory, free, just turn up, noon-6pm

STEAMING WEEKEND: Train geeks are in for a treat. Head to this little known museum and you'll be greeted by a fully restored 1888 Wood Bros Beam Engine in its original Victorian engine house, which is getting a full steaming to mark the museum's part in this year's European Year of Cultural Heritage. Markfield Beam Engine & Museum (South Tottenham), free (donations welcome), just turn up, 12.30pm-1.15pm, 2pm-2.45pm, 3.30pm-4.15pm

SWAPAHOLICS UK: Having a clear out? Spring clean your wardrobe and head to Shoreditch Swapaholics instead. It's strictly fashion only (clothes, shoes, bags and accessories) and you can bring up to 20 items. Shoreditch Platform, £3, just turn up, 12.30pm-4pm

LINOCUT WORKSHOP: Try your hand at cutting and printing your own images with various types of lino, led by pro Jane Smith. The Archivist's Gallery, £22.15-£32.93, book ahead, 2pm

COLLUSION OPEN MIC: Share your work or just lend your ears to this open mic night, where you can expect improvised words, improvised music and some peculiar sounds. Grow, Hackney Wick, free, just turn up, 7pm-11pm

RISE OF THE MACHINES: Combine your love for classical music with your love of clubbing at this experimental club night, featuring a 30-piece orchestra and a drum machine, which takes centre stage. Village Underground (Shoreditch), £18, book ahead, 8pm-11.45pm

Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...

LOVE Dim Sum? Learn to Make Delicious Dim Sum!

Fancy some Dim Sum fun? From making and rolling the dough to preparing the fillings and forming the parcels, William will show you everything you need to know to become a Dim Sum pro. William will also teach you the etiquette of Dim Sum - learn what to order and how to order, in Cantonese! Get tickets

Interviews With British Serial Killers

Could you spent hours on end satiating your morbid curiosity by researching serial killers? Hey, you're not alone. Insight into the criminal psyche is a fascinating topic and one covered in this talk by retired police officer, Paul Harrison. You'll encounter the stories of three of the UK's worst serial killers, from their childhoods to their crimes. With over four decades of experience in the Criminal Justice system, join Paul to work through the facts, uncover the details, and get inside the heads of these killers to discover what truly motivates a murderer.  Get tickets

Become Robin Hood for the Day in an Archery Class

Ever fancied yourself as Robin Hood? Join the 2020 archery team in London Bridge and discover how to shoot. The 1.5 hour 'get started in archery' class will teach you how to shoot (relatively) accurately as well as the scoring system and key archery terminology. The session finishes with a mini-competition where you can show off your new-found skills. Get tickets

Sex, Death and Shopping: The Soho Tour

We all know Soho is changing - and fast. But does the Soho of decades past - fiercely independent, occasionally seedy, always flamboyant - still exist? Antony Robbins claims it does - if you know where to look. A former director at the Museum of London, Robbins now leads walking tours of Soho, delving into the area's past and present. His Sex, Death and Shopping tour covers scandals of yesteryear through to present-day erotica - taking in hidden gardens, sinister histories, and little-known facts of famous places. A bit sinister. A bit salacious. And exceedingly well-tailored. It's a tour to have you falling in love - or lust - with this part of London all over again.  Get tickets